He knew he had to tell us why he did what he did. Then he blurted it out, "I am a transvestite, do you know what that is?" I told him I did but not clearly. He liked to wear woman's clothing he said. Then I knew what he meant the night before when he told me I wasn't a woman, he was. I told him what he said to me and he tried to deny it. He said he never told anyone and couldn't believe he told me. I told him he didn't or wasn't in any condition to do any real explaining that night and as long as we knew, he may as well give us the whole works.

After telling us of his anguish with this problem and answering our questions, he seemed surprised that we didn't get up and walk out on him. He was surprised we didn't look at him like he had a rare disease. Both my wife and I asked if any cure could be had and he said definitely no, so we told him why the hell didn't he learn to live with it. He was ashamed, disgusted, lonely and filled with a lot of self pity. I told him I would be willing to help him all I could but without the booze. That wasn't solving the problem.

I let him know I felt more sorry for his wife than I did for him. This poor woman had to live with this man knowing what he was, but completely ignorant of just what it was all about. You could see when we talked to her about it, she didn't understand much. So we had to convince him we couldn't care less what he was as long as he didn't hurt us and we had to try to help his wife understand more than she did. I told him whenever he felt this desire, he should submit to it with no feeling of guilt. I was willing to have him send his wife and child over to our apartment so he wouldn't have to sneak off to a motel. I tried using as much common sense as I could but I was act- ually gropping in the dark as I hardly knew anything about the subject. My wife and I had looked it up in books but found very little so had to resort back to common sense.

Bernard was very happy, in fact thrilled to death that he had fin- ally told someone. I hoped that the fact that he had told us would be a big help to him in facing the problem but he still went on with his drinking.

We learned how he started as a TV and the different things he tried as a cure which were quite unsuccessful. He told us of trying to seek out a religion for peace of mind. This man and his wife went through years of hell with this problem. Except for doctors, no опе knew, he dared not tell a soul, for fear of being called a queer, for fear of losing his friends and family. But he did lose them, not as a TV but as a drunk. My wife and I did not turn against him when we

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